Olivia at 5 months

"I can't help falling in love with you ..."
They say that motherhood is like having your heart taken out and running around outside you. That is the truest feeling in the world.
Olivia now is 5 months old and here she is, in a photo I took Tuesday, March 9.
She is turning over. She is so observant, at moments so calm but then she is capable of unleashing a fury. She's impatient and continues to pursue things even if they frustrate her. So although she looks like Daddy, she is displaying some of Mommy's personality characteristics.
We love you, sweetheart. You are the ultimate miracle of our lives.

California Star

Love Charlene, who flew in from California to help me with Olivia.
We had so much fun!

Back To Blogging

After several months, I am back to blogging. I have had a great distraction, our little Miss Olivia who now is nearly 5 months old. We have had such fun!

The Dance with my Daughter

Pardon me for not answering the phone. I’m dancing with my daughter.
My journey to motherhood has been riddled with uncertainty, doubts creeping in during the years that have passed. Do I want to sacrifice my career and education? I worked so hard as a business journalist, traveling the continent over and winning awards. Life was easy. My master’s degree is as close as a class or two, a degree that I have worked so hard for, a degree in managerial economics that will open doors for me that I can only imagine. And then life made me push the pause button. She arrived on Oct. 9 after 12 hours of labor and then an emergency c-section. As I’m typing this, she’s sleeping in her Pack N Play, a godsend for these new parents. Who knew that a pack n play could hold so much power? The owls on the mobile above her dance in circulation, mesmerizing her and giving me and her father sweet relief. If only the mobile would stay wound up! When that doesn’t work, we dance, me and her, her body so small I fear I’ll hurt her or damage her in some way. The music now comes from the IPOD stereo. The IPOD is the other form of sweet relief, playing tunes that her father and I have gathered over the years of our marriage. AC DC, Faith Hill, Brandi Carlile, the Rolling Stones, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Elvis. Everything you can imagine. We want, after all, to expose her to a great mix of music. Our steps are awkward at first as we make sense of each other, her body changing so quickly during her first seven weeks and her eyes often locking in on mine as she lays her head on my chest. Trusting, gentle, wonderful eyes. Clear, bright, beautiful. Are they her father’s? I think so. Maybe the shape is mine. What will she look like in a year? As a teenager? What will she look like as an adult? For now, I’ll hold her, cling to her, love her, and take this life day by day. This time, the baby is mine and I can’t send it back with its parents.

Olivia is here!

Our little miracle arrived Oct. 9, 2009, and we couldn't be more thrilled.
She was delivered via an emergency c-section.
I have been recovering from the surgery and getting used to motherhood.
We will post photos soon!

Yes, Magazines Digitally Alter Photos

There are certain things that surprise me in life. Digitally altered photos in magazines is not one of those things. Apparently, there's a great level of surprise that Kelly Clarkson's photo on a recent cover of Self was digitally altered to make her appear slim.
No, say it ain't so.
Any media savvy person will tell you that this is STANDARD. It would be a surprise if a photo was NOT digitally altered. I know it may shock some people, but the images we see every day through magazines, television, etc. represent the power of perception. It's all smoke and mirrors.
This is when I'm most grateful for the time I spent at Matrix Essentials (the company that makes salon products like Biolage, etc.) I worked on the company's in-house magazine. If we wanted a wrinkle, a crooked tooth, anything removed from the photos of the models, it was gone in a New York minute.
It's reality; nothing that you see in media is truth.

Cash for Clunkers Program Goes Clunk

A $2 billion infusion apparently has rescued the much-touted Cash for Clunkers program.
When I heard the program was in trouble because of lack of funds, I admit I blamed the incompetent government. And I still do.
Here's why: Even without the most sophisticated financial prediction software, some finance or business or economically-minded individual or group should have figured out "Best Case Scenario" and "Worst Case Scenario" in a spectrum of possibilities for how much the program would eat up. For example, let's say there are 1 million car owners in the United States (in total). (That's just a figure I pulled out of the air, it comes from no reliable data. It's purely for example purposes).
Of 1 million total car owners, how many own a vehicle that could potentially be traded in under the Clunkers program? Let's say it's 250,000, again, just for argument's sake and pulling the figure out of the air.
That is the potential of the program. So we take 250,000 and multiply that by $4,500 and that gives us the figure of how much we could possibly spend on this program.
I didn't need my degree in economics to figure that out. That's just pure common sense. So at the high end of our "spectrum" anyone in Washington (the Congressional Budget Office, for example) could figure out, "Hey, this could cost us X amount. How will we finance this?"
You just don't give some knee-jerk reaction that "Oh, no! Too many people are taking advantage of this program and we don't have enough to fund it."
It should have been thought through. Trust me, they have the data that shows them the number of car owners in the United States. They also have the data that shows them vehicle age, etc. It won't be a perfect data set (none ever is) but it's better than flailing.
The plan wasn't thought out, and I hope it's obvious that the government is being irresponsible in an economic time when financial irresponsibility can be catastrophic.
Oh, and we're going to trust the government that did this with our healthcare?

Another Burns Documentary

I love a great documentary, and I especially admire the work of Ken Burns, who (no pun intended) hit it out of the ballpark with a mesmerizing documentary on the history of baseball, simply titled, "Baseball." "Baseball" is roughly 16 years old now, but its story is timeless.
Burns is back this September, now with a documentary on the National Park System of the United States. "The National Parks: America's Best Idea" begins airing on PBS on Sept. 27.
I admit, I'm partial to anything that encourages exploration of the U.S. park system. I think it's miraculous and wonderful. (It is one of my life's goals to visit each national park in the U.S.)
Jane Q and Joe Q Public need to understand that these havens didn't just happen; they came about because of the work and sacrifice of individuals.
Burns will highlight this. If his work on "Baseball" is any indication, the product will be outstanding and truly engaging.

A bellyful!

We're plugging along! Now, at 30 weeks pregnant, we are in the home stretch! Olivia is due to arrive on or around Oct. 5.

RIP Michael Jackson

Today is Michael Jackson's memorial service. I have made jokes about his death, of course, but I am sad that this icon is gone.
There are people in life who take us outside of ourselves and give us reason to believe in magic.
As for all the allegations and media coverage about what went on behind closed doors, the ultimate truth is that no one knows what went on between Jackson and the children involved in those lawsuits, except Jackson and the children themselves.

What is a Ponzi scheme?

Bernie Madoff ran a Ponzi scheme. Essentially, what this means (in an overly simplistic explanation) is that he relied on money coming in from new investors or money from old investors to assuage all investors.
He never was making money on the money these folks were investing, but stealing from Peter to pay Paul.

Madoff sentenced to 150 years

He's sorry now, apparently.
I theorize that he is sorry he was caught. There is a big distinction there.
But this is the big news today. Madoff didn't make off.

Feature on the Cleveland Clinic

This is an interesting feature from CNN on how the Cleveland Clinic is managed.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/06/19/sotu.cleveland.clinic/index.html

The Goode Family

"King of the Hill" creator Mike Judge has developed a new series called "The Goode Family," which debuted last night (Wednesday, May 27) on ABC at 8 p.m. Central Time.
"The Goode Family" is Judge's way of making fun of environmental do-gooders, those people who feel guilty for using two-ply toilet paper and those people (my favorite) who are convinced that plastic bags are going to destroy the world.
(Plastic bags are not going to destroy the world. I know that disappoints most of you). It's OK. It's a harsh reality, but it's true. And here's another bit of news that will shock most: Organic foods are not any better for humans than regular foods. I have the science behind that one, because I spent my semester studying with a world renowned agricultural economist.
But that's neither here nor there. What is important is that Judge, who is one of my heroes for creating "King of the Hill," has developed "The Goode Family" just in time. It's en vogue right now to be environmentally conscious, to drive hybrid cars, to feel guilty for eating meat. The Goode family dog is forced by the family to eat a vegetarian diet. It's a great point of humor for the show that the other animals in the neighborhood seem to be disappearing .... the dog needs to get his daily protein requirements somewhere. He's not getting the protein requirements in the household, let's just put it that way.
So you should tune in. It's funny. Though the first episode was a little more jam-packed than I prefer, it's still a great way to put into perspective all the hype over environmentalism.
Now, I'm going to eat a steak!

Life's Moments

Tiffany Davis' graduation from college is nothing short of a miracle.

She graduated this past weekend from Five Towns College in Long Island, New York.

But few people know Tiffany's story. The woman pictured with her here is one of my life's heroes, Mae Fulkerson. Mae adopted Tiffany and her brother Shawn when they were toddlers. They were from a very abusive family and they had been very neglected and abused as children.

Congratulations, Tiffany (and Mae, for getting her to this point). We love you. This is your moment to shine.

Back in Action

It's been a long, tiring semester, but the semester ended last week and I finally have a chance to write again! I'm now 21 credit hours into my 32-hour master's program at the University of Oklahoma. But with Baby Olivia on the way, I'll sit out the fall semester!
We're so blessed; after 11 years of marriage and a long time trying, I am halfway through my pregnancy and doing well! We officially hit the halfway mark this week (20 weeks). In the medical world, a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks.
Olivia's ETA is Oct. 5. If she's like her father, she will arrive precisely on her due date. If she's like her mother, she'll sleep in a bit!
Thanks to everyone for their love and support!

"But he was so normal ..."

When someone goes on a shooting rampage, guess what becomes the defining action of his or her character?
Was it the fact that he or she brought flowers to little old Mrs. Hickendoopler down the street, once, when he or she was 11 years old?
No.
We are defined by our actions, and certain actions carry larger stigmas. For example, shooting a crapload of people across two counties in Alabama. Or being Chester the Molester.
Sorry, maybe I'm going to Hell for saying this, but Ned Flanders he is not.
So why do people feel the need to insist that this person who shot all these people "was so normal. He was so quiet."
He's not normal. He cannot function as a healthy individual in society.
But for those people who want to make excuses for him, invite him over for tea. See how that works for you.

When Governors Get it Wrong

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/11/stimulus.sanford/

South Carolina's Gov. Sanford has been an outspoken critic of the Obama Administration and its $800 billion stimulus package.
But to compare the United States economic situation with that of Zimbabwe shows a crucial misunderstanding on Sanford's part of economics and history.
He wants to scare people, and it's an ineffective tactic. Perhaps what he needs to do is find someone who can analyze numbers and put it in real terms where Jane and Joe Q. Public will understand the impact of borrowing against the future.

The Death of Dailies

In case you haven't heard, you should know that the Rocky Mountain News is scheduled to stop production, issuing its final edition on Friday. The news came fast from one of my colleagues in Ohio that the owner of the Willoughby (Ohio) News Herald and the Lorain (Ohio) Morning Journal has filed for bankruptcy.
I love nothing more than the feel of a newspaper. Sure, I am as much of a web news junkie as anyone in this Internet era, but I still love the feel of a paper and I know that dailies are one of the most critical components of a democratic society.
I wish more people would understand that and do more to help save the dailies.

Blame the Sheep

First it was cows, now it's sheep whose gas production is being blamed for global warming.
Check out the story at www.wsj.com
Oye vey.