Dante and I flew back to Oklahoma this morning, March 31.
Of all things, a tornado hit a neighborhood just north of ours!
Thank goodness our house was unaffected!
Now, it's gorgeous here, a blue sky and a nice breeze.
We spent so much time back in Ohio sorting through my mom's things, and this much I can tell you: My mother and my father wrote to each other A LOT. My sister has made a scrap book with all their letters.
I'm doing the same with my mom's journals.
If it wasn't for their writing, we wouldn't know what went on in their lives. That's what I love so much about writing. I knew I loved it, I knew it was my passion, but I never realized the profound impact it can have when one's parents are deceased, and all that you have left is the writing.
I had asked my mom so many questions in the months before she died, and she didn't get to answer all of those questions verbally, but we found the answers in her journals! She actually wrote out on paper, "Angie asked me this, this is the answer."
Thank you, Mom, for doing that.
And now I know where I get the need to write. :-)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Beyond Words
Words cannot express the heartfelt thanks to everyone for their love, support and prayers during this time. The outpouring has been tremendous.
Love,
Angie
Love,
Angie
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
RIP Betty DeRosa 1938-2008
Mom has died.
She passed away at 3 a.m. March 26 at Parma Hospital in Parma, Ohio.
Funeral arrangements will be forthcoming.
She passed away at 3 a.m. March 26 at Parma Hospital in Parma, Ohio.
Funeral arrangements will be forthcoming.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Mom, Interrupted
My mom is not well.
She is on breathing support in Parma Hospital.
Please pray for Betty DeRosa.
Hug your loved ones.
She is on breathing support in Parma Hospital.
Please pray for Betty DeRosa.
Hug your loved ones.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Secret to a Happy Marriage
If anyone knows, please comment.
I don't have the answer. The reason I don't have the answer (or maybe I do) is because there is NO secret. Life is work, and marriage is work, and if you're not willing to work at either, don't expect good results. There is no magic wand. And ladies, for the record, there is no such thing as a prince charming, someone who will sweep you off your feet and take you off to Never Land.
And men, there is no such thing as the perfect wife. But there is such thing as honesty, and above all, I can give that to you.
There are no perfect people. There are varying degrees of humanness and you have to decide for yourself, "Who's crap am I willing to put up with?" And, moreover, who's willing to deal with my crap?
We all have crap. If you say you don't, you're not being honest with yourself.
Alas, I have the opportunity to opine on the classic question, "What makes marriages work?"
Thanks to a bit that appeared in the WSJ, apparently, it's NOT living in Oklahoma. Thanks for sending me this, Dante!
"Which couples have the best chances? Depending on which study you believe -- they vary widely in quality -- you must get lots of education, earn a lot of money, marry over age 25, live in a Blue State, be white, or be a Presbyterian or a Catholic (but only a faithful one who attends Mass). What doesn't help: being a born-again Christian, having daughters instead of sons, having divorced parents or being born in Oklahoma. (Pilloried in the media a few years ago for its high divorce rate, Oklahoma has mounted a state-funded marriage-education program that has enrolled 133,000 people so far, an official says.)"
Here I go on one of my bandwagons (as if I don't have enough of those already), but I always tell people: Getting married is like having children. You don't do either unless you absolutely know it's for you. Don't do either because it's what other people expect of you. You have to live with the consequences of your decisions.
For instance, who is going to burp and feed the baby at 4 in the morning and then wake up at 6 to go to work? YOU. Who is going to stand by a husband or wife's side through thick and thin, for better or for worse, through years of marriage? Once the music is over at the ceremony and you come home from the honeymoon, LIFE continues.
Take the example of the person I shall call Miss X. Miss X really, truly exists. I met her at the University of Oklahoma. Obviously, I won't use her real name. But Miss X is 22 years old, the age I was when I got married. The first thing that comes out of Miss X's mouth is, "I hate my husband. He is dumb."
Lordy, child, WHY would you hitch your star to his wagon if you feel that way about him? And why would you broadcast it to the world that you feel this way about the man that you married, who (presumably), is going to be the father of your children?
I don't have the secret to a happy marriage or a happy life. What I do know, though, is that you have to have rain to enjoy the rainbows. The journey of life is complicated and difficult but oh so worthwhile, and if you want to share that with one special person, that's your perogative.
As for Oklahoma's high divorce rate, I explain it this way: People here usually marry very, very young because it's what is very much expected of them by parents and churches. They are not given the chance to "find" themselves. So they get into these relationships and I ask, how can you grow and love another person if you don't know yourself?
I don't have the answer. The reason I don't have the answer (or maybe I do) is because there is NO secret. Life is work, and marriage is work, and if you're not willing to work at either, don't expect good results. There is no magic wand. And ladies, for the record, there is no such thing as a prince charming, someone who will sweep you off your feet and take you off to Never Land.
And men, there is no such thing as the perfect wife. But there is such thing as honesty, and above all, I can give that to you.
There are no perfect people. There are varying degrees of humanness and you have to decide for yourself, "Who's crap am I willing to put up with?" And, moreover, who's willing to deal with my crap?
We all have crap. If you say you don't, you're not being honest with yourself.
Alas, I have the opportunity to opine on the classic question, "What makes marriages work?"
Thanks to a bit that appeared in the WSJ, apparently, it's NOT living in Oklahoma. Thanks for sending me this, Dante!
"Which couples have the best chances? Depending on which study you believe -- they vary widely in quality -- you must get lots of education, earn a lot of money, marry over age 25, live in a Blue State, be white, or be a Presbyterian or a Catholic (but only a faithful one who attends Mass). What doesn't help: being a born-again Christian, having daughters instead of sons, having divorced parents or being born in Oklahoma. (Pilloried in the media a few years ago for its high divorce rate, Oklahoma has mounted a state-funded marriage-education program that has enrolled 133,000 people so far, an official says.)"
Here I go on one of my bandwagons (as if I don't have enough of those already), but I always tell people: Getting married is like having children. You don't do either unless you absolutely know it's for you. Don't do either because it's what other people expect of you. You have to live with the consequences of your decisions.
For instance, who is going to burp and feed the baby at 4 in the morning and then wake up at 6 to go to work? YOU. Who is going to stand by a husband or wife's side through thick and thin, for better or for worse, through years of marriage? Once the music is over at the ceremony and you come home from the honeymoon, LIFE continues.
Take the example of the person I shall call Miss X. Miss X really, truly exists. I met her at the University of Oklahoma. Obviously, I won't use her real name. But Miss X is 22 years old, the age I was when I got married. The first thing that comes out of Miss X's mouth is, "I hate my husband. He is dumb."
Lordy, child, WHY would you hitch your star to his wagon if you feel that way about him? And why would you broadcast it to the world that you feel this way about the man that you married, who (presumably), is going to be the father of your children?
I don't have the secret to a happy marriage or a happy life. What I do know, though, is that you have to have rain to enjoy the rainbows. The journey of life is complicated and difficult but oh so worthwhile, and if you want to share that with one special person, that's your perogative.
As for Oklahoma's high divorce rate, I explain it this way: People here usually marry very, very young because it's what is very much expected of them by parents and churches. They are not given the chance to "find" themselves. So they get into these relationships and I ask, how can you grow and love another person if you don't know yourself?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
This American Life
I'm about to point out the elephant in the room, and perhaps I shouldn't go there, but I'm going.
Race and gender issues exist in American society, and anyone who says that these issues don't exist is in serious denial.
You cannot cover this elephant with a blanket.
But the topics are complicated. It may be summed up best by comedienne Wanda Sykes, who said something very prolific on the Ellen DeGeneres Show last week.
Ellen had asked Sykes who she was going to vote for, Hillary or Barack.
Sykes said, "You know, I'm torn. Because I'm black, and I'm a woman. And I had to say to myself, which has caused me more problems, being black, or being a woman?"
But Sen. Clinton said something very outstanding, which I have to point out. She said this after Sen. Obama gave his speech on race yesterday.
"Issues of race and gender in America have been complicated throughout our history, and they are complicated in this primary campaign," said Clinton, also campaigning in Philadelphia. "There have been detours and pitfalls along the way, but we should remember that this is a historic moment for the Democratic Party and for our country. We will be nominating the first African-American or woman for the presidency of the United States, and that is something that all Americans can and should celebrate."
This is an historic time. We should be so proud of where this country is right now, that there would be a female candidate for president and a black candidate. No matter what happens in November, these are crucial barriers which have been broken for both race and gender.
Race and gender issues exist in American society, and anyone who says that these issues don't exist is in serious denial.
You cannot cover this elephant with a blanket.
But the topics are complicated. It may be summed up best by comedienne Wanda Sykes, who said something very prolific on the Ellen DeGeneres Show last week.
Ellen had asked Sykes who she was going to vote for, Hillary or Barack.
Sykes said, "You know, I'm torn. Because I'm black, and I'm a woman. And I had to say to myself, which has caused me more problems, being black, or being a woman?"
But Sen. Clinton said something very outstanding, which I have to point out. She said this after Sen. Obama gave his speech on race yesterday.
"Issues of race and gender in America have been complicated throughout our history, and they are complicated in this primary campaign," said Clinton, also campaigning in Philadelphia. "There have been detours and pitfalls along the way, but we should remember that this is a historic moment for the Democratic Party and for our country. We will be nominating the first African-American or woman for the presidency of the United States, and that is something that all Americans can and should celebrate."
This is an historic time. We should be so proud of where this country is right now, that there would be a female candidate for president and a black candidate. No matter what happens in November, these are crucial barriers which have been broken for both race and gender.
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Sex Lives of Governors
Suddenly, the details of sex lives of governors have become what Americans apparently want to know.
Within the last week, we've been exposed to the hooker trysts of former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and the apparent sexual misconducts of former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey and his estranged wife.
Today, newly anointed New York Gov. Paterson disclosed his affairs and those of his wife.
Beyond Spitzer needing to step down from the New York governorship and leave public office, there should be no further exposure of the sex lives of these people.
When did this become public concern?
We know Spitzer did wrong. Hence, he needed to step aside as governor, which thankfully, he did on his own.
But for us to stare as a society at the train wreck is to encourage future coverage, including Gov. Paterson feeling like he has to disclose all the gritty details of his sex life and that of his wife.
I have a surprise, and maybe I'm alone in this, but I DON'T CARE. I care, yes, that former Gov. Spitzer did something unlawful and therefore should be held accountable for it. But that's it. I don't want to know what you do in your bedroom, or with whom you do it. And to all the history buffs out there, I ask, what would Benjamin Franklin think of this?
Oh, wait, we've been exposed to parts of his sex life, too.
Mark my word, Ashley Dupre will become famous in our sick society because of what has happened. In fact, she already has. But our deranged society will put her on a pedestal, elevating her to a position that she doesn't deserve, built on lies and mistrusts and indecent behavior that made her a darling of rich men but makes her nothing but an embarrassment to independent, intelligent women everywhere.
Within the last week, we've been exposed to the hooker trysts of former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and the apparent sexual misconducts of former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey and his estranged wife.
Today, newly anointed New York Gov. Paterson disclosed his affairs and those of his wife.
Beyond Spitzer needing to step down from the New York governorship and leave public office, there should be no further exposure of the sex lives of these people.
When did this become public concern?
We know Spitzer did wrong. Hence, he needed to step aside as governor, which thankfully, he did on his own.
But for us to stare as a society at the train wreck is to encourage future coverage, including Gov. Paterson feeling like he has to disclose all the gritty details of his sex life and that of his wife.
I have a surprise, and maybe I'm alone in this, but I DON'T CARE. I care, yes, that former Gov. Spitzer did something unlawful and therefore should be held accountable for it. But that's it. I don't want to know what you do in your bedroom, or with whom you do it. And to all the history buffs out there, I ask, what would Benjamin Franklin think of this?
Oh, wait, we've been exposed to parts of his sex life, too.
Mark my word, Ashley Dupre will become famous in our sick society because of what has happened. In fact, she already has. But our deranged society will put her on a pedestal, elevating her to a position that she doesn't deserve, built on lies and mistrusts and indecent behavior that made her a darling of rich men but makes her nothing but an embarrassment to independent, intelligent women everywhere.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)