The Year of the Turtle

First, we found Romeo and Juliet in our backyard.
Then, I discovered Jolene hiding in the monkey grass in our front yard.
When we were hiking at a nearby park last week, we found a male on the trail.
There are, seemingly, box turtles everywhere.
Yesterday, Dante and I were headed to Lowe's. I was driving, and as I headed up the busy four-lane street, I saw a box turtle charging down the sidewalk to my right.
The turtle was indeed charging. It is the fastest I have ever seen a box turtle move. There wasn't anything chasing him, but one would have sworn he was running from something. Maybe the Mrs.
"Dante, the turtle is going into the street! He's going to get hit. We have to save him!"
Dante, of course, is up for anything, especially saving an animal.
I turn the car around, and Dante heads across the road. The box turtle by this point has fallen off the curb and is lying upside down, his legs flailing.
Dante tells me later he worried that the turtle had been hit. Picture us: me, in the car in the middle of this busy road, my hazard lights on so that cars can know we've stopped for something. Dante is headed off across the road, hoping that the turtle isn't injured or dead by now.
Dante picks him up by his shell. I turn the car around to come back and get them. Dante gets into the car (he would say that I parked the car six miles away, but that's impossible. I did not. I just went to the closest possible place to park. It just so happens that it was a bit of a walk for Dante, who was holding a turtle that was rambunctious and not wanting to be held by a human hand).
So the turtle is still flailing, his head out, his arms and legs racing, hoping that he'll touch pavement or grass or dirt and be able to take off. This is all while Dante's holding him by his shell. If the turtle could scream, "Let me go!" he would have.
But of course, turtles can't talk. We all know that.
But turtles can pee.
Dante gets in the car with the turtle and the turtle lets it go, some on Dante but mostly on my floor mat.
"Aw, he's pissing!" Guess who said that?
We took the turtle to Marilyn and Allen, who have been wanting to repopulate their property with box turtles. They were thrilled to have him.