Out and Proud

In my experience, there are two types of people in the world. People who will admit that they like celebrity gossip or read their astrologies, and liars.
I'm out and proud about my fascination with astrology and the fact that I buy copies of People magazine and other celebrity gossip rags.
Hell yes.
And I don't make excuses. One time, I was standing in line, waiting to board a plane and I overheard two people talking about how they'd never buy "those" magazines.
They were staring at me as I stood there, sorting through the Special Double Issue of People magazine to find out who got liposuction and who didn't.
Inquiring minds want to know!
Their stares started to burn a hole in my magazine cover, and I was quite perturbed. How dare they try to read over my shoulder!
So I did the only thing any self-respecting Celebrity Gossip Queen can do. I stared right back and said, "I don't pretend not to love these things. I buy all I can. I read it all."
They stared at me in disbelief. Then I got the last laugh when they borrowed my copies of People and US magazine on the plane ride.
The knowledge I have gained has more than once benefitted me in my life, thankyouverymuch. For example, any of my friends or family know who to call for a Phone-A-Friend if they ever happen to be on the "Millionaire" game show and need a phone-a-friend to answer a question about England's Royal Family.
I saw Diana and Charles' wedding. I sobbed when the boys were born and when Diana died. I know Fergie's name isn't really Fergie (and we're not talking about the woman who sings with Black Eyed Peas). We're talking the former Duchess of York.
I mean, do you know the last name of England's Royal Family?
I predicted Britney would go crazy at the time she appeared on Star Search.
I am a vast Encyclopedia for Useless Celebrity Information. It is my useless skill, albeit very, very entertaining.
When Dante is working his NYTimes crossword puzzles, who does he go to for celebrity information?
I don't believe all the stuff I read, thank goodness. God gave me a brain for a reason. But today, I was astounded at the accuracy of a horoscope I read. (I'm a Scorpio, by the way).
And all of you who know me know that this describes me to a T! Admit it!
"Taking care of business is a major theme where your emotional orientation is concerned now. You crave organization and practicality, and you want to get things accomplished. You aim to have a place for everything and everything in its place - and anything that gets in the way gets on your nerves."
(If you want to know the source of that horoscope, I will keep your secret. Because you know you want to look up your own. Unless you're a Scorpio. Then I've done it for you.)